Well, in absentia of college sports (thank you, finals), today we gaze in on professional sports and, unfortunately, my favorite franchise.
The Ravens were the first team in the entire season to fall to the Miami Dolphins, 22 -16.
Here's the thing: I turned the game off when the score was 13-10 to work on an essay for finals. I already knew they were going to lose. I knew it: My Raven's sense was going off.
One thing about a team without a clutch offense is you can always tell that they'll lose the game after the momentum shift. They can't reclaim it.
Sure, you can blame injuries if you want. Sure, you can throw stones at Kyle Boller - he's been very bad behind center and he can't seem to stop his dancing or get rid of the ball properly. Blame a season of divas on defense who can't play as a team and who have ripped this locker room apart.
But one man, the man calling the plays and presiding over the locker room, has already somehow evaded responsibility.
This past week, Steve Bisciotti told Brian Billick, head coach of the Ravens, that his job was safe.
And, uh ... why?
I'm sure that many of you have heard that Billick came over from the Vikings as a heralded offensive coordinator and the Raven's offense has not good pretty much at all during his tenure. Their best ranking was 14th in 2001 ... you know, when Jamal Lewis almost broke the single-season rushing record. Even last year when the Ravens won a franchise-high 13 games, they only finished 17th in offense, and Billick was calling the plays after throwing best friend Jim Fassel under the bus. This season again, Billick was calling plays and we're currently ranked 24th in offense. Uh, aren't you supposed to be the genius?
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!!! Two seasons ago, after a 6-10 season, Brian Billick evaded the noose before - after a 6-10 season and a second consecutive missed playoff. Two years later, here we are again. Since then we've had one spectacular regular season - again resting heavily on defense - and a horribly botched playoff game, due much in part to bad coaching. And now? A franchise-worst 8 game losing streak. And he's not fired?
Plus, who can forget this great one-liner we heard time and time again: "Kyle Boller is our quarterback." Oh yeah? Well now Billick is using Boller as a shield, saying that the team hasn't been successful because of bad quarterback play.
What's more, Bisciotti does not blame Billick for the team's poor play, according to the report.
This man has evaded responsibility for too long and rested on the work of a slew of great defensive coordinators, two of whom are now head coaches and one who will be soon. Actually, why not make Rex Ryan coach of this Ravens team? He's got the respect of the players, is familiar with the system and personnel and we know he can coach at least one side of the ball, right?
Let's face it: The Ravens will always be a defensive team. You might as well get a defensive head coach and a really good offensive coordinator. It worked at USC with Pete Carroll and Norm Chow, right? With Rex Ryan and, say, Cam Cameron (maybe the single win saves his job, however) you could even have a USC-type situation with Ryan actually calling the defensive assignments and the O-coordinator pretty much covering the whole offense. Why not?
And as for the quarterback situation, ladies and gentlemen: Troy "The Answer" Smith.
The sad thing is I'm so serious right now.